I once read a scary book about a woman who woke to find herself invisible. She went to the mirror and saw no reflection. Her husband and son didn’t even notice the floating eggs and plates as she made them breakfast – they were completely oblivious to her. Fearing for her sanity, she called on her girlfriends who immediately “saw” the dilemma but were at a loss to help.
I never finished that book.
As a woman, I’ve frequently felt unseen and I’ll bet you have as well. You’ve fulfilled your expected roles, dutifully showed up each day to support others, and you even made their requests a priority and their comfort your objective.
After years of this, myself:
- I became a ghost in my own life.
- I forgot my values and dreams.
- I devalued my presence in the world.
- When I looked in the mirror, I missed the creative woman I had been.
- I went invisible to myself.
It took a family crisis to shatter my mirror.
A nearly unendurable time of suffering brought the invisibility to an end. I couldn’t pretend life would wait for me to show up for myself. I needed to look at who I’d become and who I wanted to be. My therapist helped me process the pain, the anger and the questions. My reflection was solidifying.
I had to stop living for others and I wondered what could be possible for my own future. So, I hired a life coach. She enabled me to:
- see how my life could change for the better,
- be curious about my own resistance,
- and, discover goal setting and accountability could be gentle and collaborative.
With time, I found a solid direction for my future and became empowered to build a life that reflected the real me.
Here is what I have learned:
- It’s important to speak assertively concerning your needs and desires. No one will value your goals and dreams if you don’t.
- Move away from dismissive people and environments. Move toward safe and affirming people.
- Be honest with the ways you tend to keep yourself stuck in old unhealthy patterns and make a plan to stop the sabotage.
You can learn more ways to offset that invisible feeling by clicking here.
If you feel invisible, I get it, and I can help. I’m a life coach, trainer and speaker who wants you to feel seen. My passion is to help women, like yourself, to be who they can be – no fluff, no smoke and mirrors, but real effective help. Contact me today for a free 30-minute consultation and decide if life coaching is for you.
Gina Huff is a facilitator at Arête Purpose Consulting. If you would like to have a conversation about individual life coaching, contact us.
